Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Taper. Not crazy.

Something has happened to my taper crazies.  They are inexplicably absent.

I arrived in Kona late Friday evening and have melted into the aloha life.  It is sublime.

Riding on the Queen K on Saturday brought me more emotion than I expected.  Or perhaps I should have expected it - after all, it has been an interesting few months.  It was a rush to the senses, a feeling of absolute calm and breathlessness.  The smell of the air and the flowers, the wind, the crashing waves, the stark contrast of the black lava, and the nervous energy abound.

I love it.

This is a place that exists somewhere between my dreams and real life.  Miles away from home, and yet so real.  

Wrapping my head around what will happen here in 11 days is a heavy load.  But I approach it with calm....not crazy at all, in fact.  For the first time in months, I am giving my body the gift of rest, but it is not rebelling.  I accept this time as a gift, as a chance to put my head to work.  The day may break my heart, but it will not break my resolve unless I let it.

Will I be forced to reach deep, have a hard conversation with myself many times over and summon everything I have to give?  Yes.

Does it scare the shit out of me?  Yes.

Insurmountable?  No.

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