Friday, May 2, 2014


Returning to a familiar place evokes memories.  Arriving in St. Croix on Wednesday quickly took me back exactly two years - the humidity, the smell of the Caribbean air, the familiar surroundings.  The best adjective I can conjure for the sea here is simply dazzling.  Sparkling azure lit against a backdrop of hot sunshine, and lush green.      

And yet, to think back two years, it is remarkable to not only find myself here in this physical space, but also to find myself here.  In this headspace.

There are times in your life that you are simply holding on.  It is not so easy to see at the time, but very clear in retrospect.  The illusion of physical strength can hide a great deal of emotional disability.  The last time I was here, I may have raced well, but was deeply bruised on the inside.  Despite being here with friends in 2012 (and having an incredible race-cation), the world felt terribly alone.

And, while my fear of the "Beast" and the treacherous humidity that beholds me out on that race course Sunday, there is so much I am no longer fearful of.

This year, I am here alone.  And yet, not alone at all.

What has blossomed over the last two years is more than I could have ever wished for, and a life that I am grateful for every day.    

As to how the race goes on matters not.  Do not mistake this for ambivalence, this is contentedness.  I feel grateful to have the opportunity to race once more in the dazzling Caribbean, for being healthy enough to race, and for the people in my life who add boundless positivity.  You know who you are...and you are simply dazzling.

Not a postcard...the view from my patio.  

So much blue in the harbour.

The myself.

Seaside riding...with views for miles.

Even the dogs are blissful.  Rolling around happy!
Rum sponsor...and a 26 in the race packet!

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